Friday, 7 October 2016

MARRIAGE BATTLE 3



MARRIAGE BATTLE 3
by EC Voma
I sat straight up and very bold with my bible beside my husband as our Pastor flipped through some files by his office table, obviously looking for some important papers. My heart kept burning eagerly with a desire to speak out and make my spirit led points. “The Lord has not given us the spirit of fear and timidity.” I encouraged myself within me. I felt even stronger while the Pastor was saying some prayer to begin the meeting. Kenny sat very quiet, looking timid as far as I could see. Why can’t he be this timid when the Lord has already begun to let him realize he’s wrong for allowing the flesh to rule over his thoughts? I thought to myself.
Kenny took barely 7 minutes to tell his side of the story, simply narrating again the story of what I consider his spiritual woefulness in his holy matrimony. After all he was the one at fault, so what else could he have said more than just some few minutes. This shows what a shameless fellow Kenny is. I mocked inside me.
When it was my turn to speak, I left no stone unturned as I took time to let my Pastor know about the enormous spiritual battle I have been faced with from the inception of our six month old marriage. Lamenting my husband’s spiritual indifference, I recounted instances he carelessly gave the devil chances to destroy our marriage over his carnal cravings. I decried his constant objection to my advice for him to go for deliverance from generational courses. In a matter of 12 minutes of my 34 minutes talk, I felt sure that Kenny was convicted and already guilty inside of him, because I heard him sighing a couple of times as I articulated my points.
Pastor sat listening very keenly as I talked on, occasionally staring up at the ceiling from his chair. He would squint, grimace, or express bewilderment when I made some points. These increasingly made me feel satisfied that my Pastor is now discovering the truth. At this point, I strongly felt there was no need doubting that Kenny was going to be reprimanded vehemently.
No sooner was I done talking than Pastor stretched from his table and handed a paper to Kenny. Reclining back into his chair, he remarked: “Well, thanks a million for your interesting stories. I may later ask for some little more. Meanwhile, both of you will be reading some portions from the paper I’ve just handed to Mr. Kehinde. I’ve marked out some paragraphs or portions by alphabets K and L for each of you with blue pen. It was a marriage retreat brochure in which scripture references on marriage are all printed out.

Kenny started out:
“Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and…. In the same way, husbands ought to love their as their own bodies…. After all, no one ever hated their own body….” Ephesians 5:25-29
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Collosians 3:19
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3
It was my turn to read now, and I started out with some big sense of an already self-vindication, having listened to Kenny read out scriptures that implicitly indict him:
“Wives submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife….” Ephisians 5:22-24
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Collosians 3:18
“The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:4,5
Hush! This last portion is controversial, and a potential problem for me in this case. I quickly thought, soon as I was done reading.
Thank you so much for good reading. Pastor said profoundly, with an obvious sense of satisfaction. Rising from his seat now, he concluded: “Well! We meet here next tomorrow Saturday by 10am – two of you, my wife and I, and my associate Pastor, whose wife we’ll miss because she has travelled. But do take this brochure with you and study the articles inside over and again, and bring it along while coming on Saturday.” He then said a prayer and dismissed us.
[Episode 4 needed please. Somebody in the Patriots house may endeavor]

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MARRIAGE BATTLE 2



MARRIAGE BATTLE 2
by EC Voma
 
I went back to the room feeling drenched by this strange episode as though beaten by some heavy rain. So many thoughts ran in my mind as I stood gazing at the food pack on the center table. I stared into the air as Kenny’s last words kept echoing in my head, by now it occurred to me that a huge battle has just begun. Yes! This morning episode is surely not over. I let out a loud sigh of distress, but quickly assured myself that I am a committed daughter of God. I shall be vindicated and win this battle however it may go - I encouraged myself. With these later thoughts, I could begin to feel within me some heaping sense of oncoming triumph. That was enough to give me the audacity to face this obvious battle.
As I made to the table to take the food pack into the kitchen, some soft voice queried: “are you sure this is how God’s own daughters should go about their life battles? Do you think God’s own…” All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed by some strong feelings of self-righteousness and self-justification. These practically intercepted the soft query going on inside me even before the second question rolled out, not minding what that next question might be. I got defiant within me, damning whatever seemed to scare my inner resolutions. With this mindset, I was battle ready to face Kenny’s craze.
It was a real gloomy day for Kenny out there in the office that day. “But I’ll not let this go like that.” Kenny thought to himself. Fortunately, Rotimi a very good friend of Kenny came by in the office that day. After gisting Rotimi about his morning experience, they arranged to meet at the house of one of their northern Nigerian friends, whose house was just some couple of kilometers away from Rotimi’s. Kenny drove straight to Habila’s place from work as arranged.
It was a big talk that went for a couple of hours. Three issues made their point of debate: Kenny should scare her by feigning extra-extra marital relationship with some ladies if Lola his wife persists on denying him his conjugal right; ask for separation of a decided period; or simply divorce her if she remains stiff-naked.
Habila and Rotimi could not agree on what exactly should be Kenny’s reaction to the whole incident as their views seemed to differ considerably, until they suggested his reporting the case to their Church clerics.




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